Thanksgiving 2012

Thanksgiving Day seems to be an appropriate time to update the ole blog.  Here is a quick rundown about the goings on in our lives.

Christy is still working at The Longview Cancer Center and is really doing well.  She loves the challenge that her job presents but also feels like she is participating in a special ministry in the lives of people touched by cancer.  All of the children are growing quickly and increasing in knowledge and stature.  Elisa is now six and turning seven in a couple of months.  Ava is five and a half and is our little miss sassy pants.  Noah is three and continues to remind us of how amazingly spacey three year olds are.  Sometimes I look at him and think, "Is he actually with us?"  Micah is two and is consequentially a complete jerk hole at times but he can also be a complete blast.  All four of them are attending Trinity School of Texas and are blossoming in their respective classes.  We continue to get positive reports from teachers regarding their development academically and socially.  We are paying what seems like an enormous sum of money for them to attend this school but we are also continually blown away by how the small class sizes and individual attention is really fostering their maturing and growth.

My work is going well.  Business in the east Texas oil field is really keeping me and the other guys on our team on our toes.  Professionally I have never grown so much as I have in the past year.  My supervisor is a library of experience but he also is incredibly patient with me as I learn all I can.  Things are looking bright as more and more responsibilities are getting passed to my end of the table.

The rest of our time seems to be spent either at church or running.  Life at Trinity goes on even after a very eventful summer and fall.  The Lord is still working His purposes through that church even though there has been quite a bit of struggle at times.  The entire parish seems to be putting effort into creating sustainable children's and youth ministries and it is so refreshing to see people letting the Holy Spirit do some incredible things.  We have also started a contemporary praise and worship band.  The guys in the band have been really great to work with and lead worship with.  Even though we are all amateurs it seems like God has some use for us.

I am currently in the middle of training for my first marathon at the end of February.  I am shooting for finishing in under four hours.  From what I can gather it seems like finishing is a good goal for one's first marathon and then you can worry about PRs after that.  We will see how it goes.  My longest run so far has been 16.1 miles (2:23).  I felt pretty good at the end but I think I still need some time to get the mileage higher.

Well, that's about it for now.  I know it hasn't been too funny, but I would just like to keep up with this and maybe the funny will come....eventually.

I live with Robots

This should not come as a surprise to me. It was explained to me cleary and deliberatelly since Christy and I started dating. There were certain characteristics that ran through her family that give them the jedi-like power of being able to take an emotion out of their bodies, hold it in their hands, carefully examine it, and determine if it is worthwhile to keep. Maybe it has just taken eight years to really sink in, but I think I finally get it. My wife is a robot. I do need to make clear that I make this assertion in the most loving way possible. I am in no way critical of these traits. I actually admire them. However, the likelihood of these mechanical qualities being passed along to my children is quite high. In fact I see these things manifest themselves in my second born daughter, Ava. Keep in mind that she is still four years old and is subject to the loss of control of her emotions. She can cry hot tears of agony just like any small child. The difference with Ava is that she has an impenetrable fortress of solitude that not even the cleverest of parenting techniques can breach. You can see it in her face that if she is doing something that she knows is against the rules and has decided that her emotions do not factor into the equation, there is nothing that can be done. She has already won.

This rings true with me specifically. I think she has already figured out that she can push my buttons and she enjoys it very much. In fact, I think that I can formulate a theory as to the origin of this particular line of androids. There are aliens on a faraway planet who wish to study the emotional aspects of the human experience and have developed a large number of extrememly realistic robots to live among us to study general emotional states. The aliens have found, I think, that I am a specimen that is easily thrown off his emotional center. I understand that this sounds like a terrible thing to experience but I would gladly take this over being abducted and ... uh... you know.....probed.

I am, of course, speaking in jest (Who talks like that anymore?). I know for a fact that these members of my family are not robots. These people are who they are and I love them for it.

Has anyone ever told you that when you marry a woman, you are essentially marrying her mother, because that is what she will be like in 20 years? I am going to go ahead call bullshitte on that in my case. Christy is not becominh more like her Mom she is becoming more like her Dad. This is okay. Neither her mother nor her father are terrible people. I love and care about them both very much, but this fact will take some getting used to.

I apologize for the rambing nature of this post but it was something I felt compelled to share. I hope to continue posting often and will even include some multi-media from my personal collection.... Okay, that sounded really gross. But be prepared for some surprises along the way.

-JB

A Fantastic Picture and Updates on Running

I guess I should say that I can't really update you on something that I haven't introduced you to. About three months ago my lovely bride, Christy, and I made the joint decision (she kicked my ass into gear) to start working out. Neither one of us were very happy with where we were physically and some tightening up needed to happen. I am not ashamed to say that my lovely Christy was the primary motivating factor behind our recent drive to lose the poundage. This is mainly because I have not had much interest in any sort of exercise routine since you could say I was "burned-out" by all of my dick-wad sports coaches in high school who found immense pleasure in torturing me. But I digress.

We both started running and lifting weights and we have seen combined weight loss of around 40 lbs! Christy worked herself up from barely able to run 1/2 mile to running 3 miles on a daily basis. I have worked my way to running 4.5 miles in about 38 minutes. I have also began to work in interval workouts into my routine which has helped keeping my ankles, knees, etc. from getting worn out. When we started this we agreed that the goal would be to run and finish a 5K race together but beyond that, we just know that we are at a point where working out feels good and we like to do it.

And in the interest of doing this post backwards, I give you the fantastic picture.

School Starts and No-Sleeps McGee

I think that I should post some recent pictures of the kids to let you guys see how much they have all grown this past summer. Then maybe I can show some before and after pictures to show you how much their mom and dad both shrunk over the summer. We have lost a combined 40 lbs!!! I have to give serious credit to Christy for getting the ball rolling. It was her initiative that got us out of the house and into the gym and I have to say that we both very much like the results!

Anyway, here are the kids at Micah's one year birthday party

And here are a couple from the first day of school.





The main reason that I am actually able to get around to doing this is that I am currently writing this post at 12:06 AM. I normally do not have much trouble sleeping but sometimes my little brain just keeps turning and turning and there is no turning it off. But at least I can turn this spinning brainpower into something constructive right? "Ha!", say the dishes in the sink that have been there since dinnertime. Punching away at the keys of this stupid laptop should be #63 on my list of things to do. However, #1-#62 are not as therapeutic.

In other news, being married is tough sometimes. On some days, I would rather hold a 20 lb weight in my right hand while trying to change a battery in a wristwatch on the floor with my left. The person I am married to at the moment is in some ways a vastly different woman than the one I saw walk slowly toward me on our wedding day in July 2003. We have both grown up quite a bit. I can't speak for Christy but I was a very scared guy with an ocean of insecurity inside. That guys shows up still every now and then and I have to talk him off the ledge and back into adulthood. When we were first together we both needed each other very much emotionally. As our relationship has progressed there have been times where this emotional need ebbed and flowed in between us. Sometimes she needed me more than I needed her and vice versa. (Did I just say "vice versa"?) I currently find myself at a point where she is really changing and growing but I feel kind of stuck. Being needy and feeling sorry for myself is not exactly an attractive trait in a spouse so I can not really blame Christy for getting frustrated with me.

The point we are at now is not exactly a "crossroads" in our relationship but we are at a point where things can get much better if we approach it with the right attitude. I have always felt like I won the lottery when I married Christy. She is not perfect at all, but I knew from the beginning that I had met a truly extraordinary person. But the difference now is that I need to know that I deserve such a person. I deserve her generosity, intelligence, straightforwardness, and beauty. My heart belongs with hers.

The feeling of being stuck that I talked about earlier is me getting into a rut of status quo. I have a tendency just to keep peace because I am afraid that conflict within my relationships will cause people to realize that I am just not worth the trouble. I could not tell you where this comes from, but it is nonetheless there. Needless to say this is going to take some work...but I'm game...

Summer Update

Well, I have to apologize for not really following up on my last post made in May. Many things have been going on in my life that took my attention from updating anyone reading. I will surely try to be better for the remainder of the summer.

I would, however, like to bring you up to speed on what has happened so far. Christy got a job working as the social worker at the Longview Cancer Center. She loves the position and the hours are perfect and she is finally getting paid to do something she went to school for. In June, we packed our bags and boarded a plane with the Richardson clan to Orlando, FL for 4 days at Disney World and 1 Day at Universal Studios. We had a fantastic time but I can say with alot of confidence that this magical place is more magical when your magical children are above the magical age of 5. Your experience will be more....what's the word? MAGICAL! In early July, we pointed the mini-van south for our annual 4th of July trip to Port Aransas, TX for some time in the sun and on the beach. The weather was fantastic and the water was as good as I have ever seen it. We did discover that Elisa and Noah love the beach and could play in the water all day but Ava and Micah merely tolerated the experience. I think Ava did not appreciate all the variables that were happening there. There were big waves, a couple of stingrays, and hot sand. So, our summer has been pretty fantastic so far. We are really grateful for all the fun we have had.

As for the rest of the summer, we have birthdays (Mine and Micah), wedding showers and bachelorette parties* (Christy's friend Lauren), a weekly class at church on Wednesday nights, a close friend of ours moving to China, and many other crazy shenanigans in between. I am hoping to be more aware of all of the entertaining blog-worthy fodder that I could share with you.

Some Thoughts on Marriage

Christy and I have been married for almost eight years now. It is difficult to believe that it has been that long. There are times where it feels like we have been together just a few months and we barely know each other. These are the instances that make you ask your partner, "What the hell is wrong with you?!?" Although, I have found that your marraige will last longer if you learn to ask this silently in your head. In the heat of an argument, though, it is difficult to keep ones mouth shut. Another difficulty is to not become such a passive aggressive monster. That's right everyone. I wrote the book, teach the class, whatever you want to call it on passive aggressiveness. I mean, why would you be direct and sincere when you could have the fun of bottling up all of your frustrations and only letting them seep out slowly in the form of underhanded comments and banging dishes a little too loudly when cleaning up after dinner? C'mon, which sounds like more fun to you? I think our dishes have suffered more abuse in our relationship than anything else. What did they ever do to deserve to be used as pawns in my little head game I am trying to play with my wife? There is one thing wrong with my use of this tactic. I am married to the absolutely wrong person if this is how I should communicate my frustrations. For those of you who know Christy you know that she is a very direct person who tells it like it is. This is perhaps my favorite aspect of her personality. It does, however, make her defenses stronger against the more sophisticated passive aggressive techniques like, cleaning the entire house in one night, by yourself or the dreaded silent treatment. I know, how could anyone ever last against such terrible things?

I have to go but I will finish these thoughts later...

Sigh No More

Easter has come and gone and it seems like years since my last blog post. I am happy to report that all is well in the Collins household. Christy was hired by the cancer center in town and it is an excellent job for her with great hours and pay. She has been at it for three weeks now and she finds it rewarding and challenging. Bless God for that! The girls are now at Trinity all day and have transitioned very nicely. Noah and Micah are going to Wilcox daycare and we know that they are cared for and loved well by our good friends, David and Tricia. It is a hectic life but there isn't much to complain about.

There have been some interesting developments at my work. I was approached by my boss about a month ago about becoming a full-time field employee. At the moment I spend two days a week doing field work near Frierson, Louisiana and three days a week at the office in Kilgore. This change would mean all week in the field, but only around Longview and Kilgore. There are parts about being in the field which are enjoyable but the hours are more sporadic. I could be home at 5 or I could be home at 8. This is not the best scenario with someone who has such a demanding home life. The upside, however, is valuable field experience which is needed for upward mobility in the company. Working in the field also provides better job security. The main fear that I have is that I could be stuck doing this work for an extended period of time and I would be giving up my job functions which give me a competitive edge over other employees in my district. I have told him that I am interested mainly because of security and career path but I still have no peace with the other concerns mentioned. I am going to have to continue to pray about it and look for some resolution.

I also wanted to say something about a band that I have recently discovered thanks to my wonderful wife, the hotmessmomma. Mumford & Sons are an English folk band that have a really cool, gritty sound. The singers voice is always full of emotion and their songs are written very well. Here is a video with a brilliant example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujv3c0TqLRk

I find listening to their music a religious experience. It becomes a thin place...

-JB