Some Thoughts on Marriage

Christy and I have been married for almost eight years now. It is difficult to believe that it has been that long. There are times where it feels like we have been together just a few months and we barely know each other. These are the instances that make you ask your partner, "What the hell is wrong with you?!?" Although, I have found that your marraige will last longer if you learn to ask this silently in your head. In the heat of an argument, though, it is difficult to keep ones mouth shut. Another difficulty is to not become such a passive aggressive monster. That's right everyone. I wrote the book, teach the class, whatever you want to call it on passive aggressiveness. I mean, why would you be direct and sincere when you could have the fun of bottling up all of your frustrations and only letting them seep out slowly in the form of underhanded comments and banging dishes a little too loudly when cleaning up after dinner? C'mon, which sounds like more fun to you? I think our dishes have suffered more abuse in our relationship than anything else. What did they ever do to deserve to be used as pawns in my little head game I am trying to play with my wife? There is one thing wrong with my use of this tactic. I am married to the absolutely wrong person if this is how I should communicate my frustrations. For those of you who know Christy you know that she is a very direct person who tells it like it is. This is perhaps my favorite aspect of her personality. It does, however, make her defenses stronger against the more sophisticated passive aggressive techniques like, cleaning the entire house in one night, by yourself or the dreaded silent treatment. I know, how could anyone ever last against such terrible things?

I have to go but I will finish these thoughts later...

Sigh No More

Easter has come and gone and it seems like years since my last blog post. I am happy to report that all is well in the Collins household. Christy was hired by the cancer center in town and it is an excellent job for her with great hours and pay. She has been at it for three weeks now and she finds it rewarding and challenging. Bless God for that! The girls are now at Trinity all day and have transitioned very nicely. Noah and Micah are going to Wilcox daycare and we know that they are cared for and loved well by our good friends, David and Tricia. It is a hectic life but there isn't much to complain about.

There have been some interesting developments at my work. I was approached by my boss about a month ago about becoming a full-time field employee. At the moment I spend two days a week doing field work near Frierson, Louisiana and three days a week at the office in Kilgore. This change would mean all week in the field, but only around Longview and Kilgore. There are parts about being in the field which are enjoyable but the hours are more sporadic. I could be home at 5 or I could be home at 8. This is not the best scenario with someone who has such a demanding home life. The upside, however, is valuable field experience which is needed for upward mobility in the company. Working in the field also provides better job security. The main fear that I have is that I could be stuck doing this work for an extended period of time and I would be giving up my job functions which give me a competitive edge over other employees in my district. I have told him that I am interested mainly because of security and career path but I still have no peace with the other concerns mentioned. I am going to have to continue to pray about it and look for some resolution.

I also wanted to say something about a band that I have recently discovered thanks to my wonderful wife, the hotmessmomma. Mumford & Sons are an English folk band that have a really cool, gritty sound. The singers voice is always full of emotion and their songs are written very well. Here is a video with a brilliant example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujv3c0TqLRk

I find listening to their music a religious experience. It becomes a thin place...

-JB