School Starts and No-Sleeps McGee

I think that I should post some recent pictures of the kids to let you guys see how much they have all grown this past summer. Then maybe I can show some before and after pictures to show you how much their mom and dad both shrunk over the summer. We have lost a combined 40 lbs!!! I have to give serious credit to Christy for getting the ball rolling. It was her initiative that got us out of the house and into the gym and I have to say that we both very much like the results!

Anyway, here are the kids at Micah's one year birthday party

And here are a couple from the first day of school.





The main reason that I am actually able to get around to doing this is that I am currently writing this post at 12:06 AM. I normally do not have much trouble sleeping but sometimes my little brain just keeps turning and turning and there is no turning it off. But at least I can turn this spinning brainpower into something constructive right? "Ha!", say the dishes in the sink that have been there since dinnertime. Punching away at the keys of this stupid laptop should be #63 on my list of things to do. However, #1-#62 are not as therapeutic.

In other news, being married is tough sometimes. On some days, I would rather hold a 20 lb weight in my right hand while trying to change a battery in a wristwatch on the floor with my left. The person I am married to at the moment is in some ways a vastly different woman than the one I saw walk slowly toward me on our wedding day in July 2003. We have both grown up quite a bit. I can't speak for Christy but I was a very scared guy with an ocean of insecurity inside. That guys shows up still every now and then and I have to talk him off the ledge and back into adulthood. When we were first together we both needed each other very much emotionally. As our relationship has progressed there have been times where this emotional need ebbed and flowed in between us. Sometimes she needed me more than I needed her and vice versa. (Did I just say "vice versa"?) I currently find myself at a point where she is really changing and growing but I feel kind of stuck. Being needy and feeling sorry for myself is not exactly an attractive trait in a spouse so I can not really blame Christy for getting frustrated with me.

The point we are at now is not exactly a "crossroads" in our relationship but we are at a point where things can get much better if we approach it with the right attitude. I have always felt like I won the lottery when I married Christy. She is not perfect at all, but I knew from the beginning that I had met a truly extraordinary person. But the difference now is that I need to know that I deserve such a person. I deserve her generosity, intelligence, straightforwardness, and beauty. My heart belongs with hers.

The feeling of being stuck that I talked about earlier is me getting into a rut of status quo. I have a tendency just to keep peace because I am afraid that conflict within my relationships will cause people to realize that I am just not worth the trouble. I could not tell you where this comes from, but it is nonetheless there. Needless to say this is going to take some work...but I'm game...